Being a Woman in the 21st Century: Krista D Businesswoman

You can find these shoes in…

San Diego, California USA

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They belong to…

Lynn Marie Morski, MD, Esq

41, American, Physician/Attorney/Author/Podcaster/Speaker/Professional Quitter Way too single. Kid free for life.

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What it’s like to walk in her shoes for a day…

I have three different types of days. Days where I have to go be a doctor and see patients, days where I get to be an author/speaker/podcaster/coach from home, and days off. Since the majority of my days are spent in category two, that’s what I’ll describe.

I wake up without an alarm. I’m pretty well trained to get around eight hours of sleep. I get up and check my OURA ring which tells me about my overall state of health and readiness. Then I do some foam rolling, breathwork, meditation, and finally hit the gym.

After the gym I may sit in my personal infared sauna while either reading (on a good day) or making the requisite inatagram post for the day (on most days, if I’m being honest. Still trying to outsource that one!)

PS. I’m going to leave out how many times I eat. Just know it’s many! But I don’t cook, so lunch and dinner are the same every day, which I have prepared by a friend and delivered on Mondays. I. Do. Not. Cook.

The next four to five hours are spent either recording podcasts (interviewing people for mine or being interviewed for others’ shows), preparing a podcast to go out (I do my own graphics and show notes/web pages), doing a Facebook live “Quit of the Week,” posting in my facebook group (Quitopia), marketing my podcast episodes through social media, responding to coaching queries, applying for speaking gigs, preparing talks, and building relationships.

At night I try to socialize or relax or work on one of my hobbies. I may go to yoga, practice the bass or guitar or percussion, salsa dance, do henna, crochet, or make super ridiculous videos. In the most recent one I did a version of the Charlie Brown’s Christmas dance scene where I played all the characters. It fell squarely into the “so bad it’s good” category. I’m also trying to go to more open mics to sing and play and generally decrease my hermit-hood.

Then I’m generally in bed by 10:30, ready to do it all again.

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Growing up in her shoes she was…

My parents are huge fans of mine and I could really do no wrong at home. They wanted me to be excellent in school. Everything else was just icing after that. However, I was a total fail at making friends at school. Socially-awkward, not athletic, super nerdy. Not a great recipe for popularity.

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Her biggest challenges day-to-day…

Older patients often ask when they’re going to see the doctor after I have done their full appointment, despite me introducing myself as Dr. Morski in the waiting room.

Another challenge is that much of the health and fitness advice I listen to is from men, and women’s bodies react much differently, so it’s hard to figure out what advice to take, as there are few woman biohackers to follow.

A bigger challenge is walking outside. I’ve been cat-called and followed on my own block. It’s frightening. Earphones don’t even help, as some are bold enough to wave their hands like there’s an emergency I need to tend to, just so I can take out my earphones and hear their “compliment.” The challenge continues in trying to get my male friends to understand what women go through. Some get it – usually the ones who have been propositioned or grabbed in clubs themselves. Others don’t see any problem, which is forever disheartening.

And perhaps the biggest challenge is finding the balance between working in masculine-energy jobs but wanting to find a male partner with whom I can surrender and be in my feminine. Someday…

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What are the advantages of being a woman in the 21st Century?

I guess that no one expects me to defend them physically or to kill spiders. Also, we’re less likely to lose our hair and it’s more socially-acceptable to cover our facial flaws with makeup. Other than that I can’t see any advantages. We’re still underpaid, undervalued, and over-expected-of (that’s probably not a word, but ladies will know exactly what I mean:)

I was so curious to find out if there was actually any advantage to being a woman that I went and read all the other “In Her Shoes” essays. There wasn’t one. There were many advantages to living in the 21st century (not as a woman), some on living as a woman now and not earlier (which isn’t an advantage of being a woman now, it’s just why being a woman now is better than the horrors of being a woman when we couldn’t vote or have our own bank accounts).

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Things you should know if you’re going to walk in her shoes…

I’m a much more light-hearted person than this essay may suggest, because it keeps asking me about being a woman, which is one of the few things in my life that are out of my control, and while I’m absolutely not a control freak, having things out of my control isn’t my favorite!

If you asked me to write about being over 40 and never wanting kids, I could have gone on about that all day<— random thought.

I’d also like to share that despite my fairly obvious irritation at being a woman, I have huge empathy for those affected by intersectionality, as I realize being a woman PLUS (enter other discriminated against category) is even tougher. So kudos to everyone who’s battled even more discrimination in life and persevered!

I also want people to know that women walk around afraid. Or at least I do, despite 7 years of martial arts training. I get groped, stared at, cat-called in the places you’d least suspect. I want men to know this isn’t flattering or welcome. I hate every last minute of it. I’m unsure if this project is supposed to highlight any of the aspects of being a woman in the 21st century, but all I can say on the positive side is that at least I’m not a woman in the 17th century. I know it’s a huge improvement, but there’s still so much further to go.

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Flashbulb Memories…

My life is generally one ridiculously inexplicable occurrence after another. I’ve been chased across a stage by Steven Tyler of Aerosmith while dressed like a chimney sweep, I won the lottery in fourth grade, I’ve played the Vans Warped Tour, and I accidentally hit Mike Tyson once in Vegas. But the most outrageous of all the stories would be that time in 2016 I was caught crying at the Democratic National Convention in footage that later ended up on CNN, MSNBC, The Today Show, the View, the Daily Show, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, and Saturday Night Live.

There was much ado about this crying stint at the time because it also ended up as a meme and then on a few Trump ads (not my finest moment). And most of 2017 was quiet on the ugly cry front. But a few months ago a post appeared on my Facebook page that just said “Did you know you’re in a Fahrenheit 11/9?”

What?

I hadn’t heard of the Michael Moore movie, so I was super lost. But upon further investigation, it was true. The old footage had been brought back to life. Fast forward about three months and I got another text yesterday asking if I had been at the 2016 DNC…to which I responded, “Yes. Shall I assume you just watched Fahrenheit 11/9?” Of course he had. The funny thing is, I still haven’t. If I wanna see myself ugly cry, I have a mirror and basically any Pixar film.

But that kind of sums it up. Small-town midwestern girl ends up in fairly unbelievable situations. Then life goes back to normal. A normal that looks very much unlike most others’ version: no kids, no roommate, no cooking, no partner (YET!), a ten hour a week job, and approximately a thousand hobbies.

Hey you, can you relate to Lynn’s story? Do you have a favorite quote or thought? Share it in the comments