Hartland, WI, USA
They belong to…
I turned 41 on March 4th of this year. I’m a single mom of two teenagers. I’ve been divorced for about 15 years and the kids have been estranged from their dad for a few years now. I am *very* single, and by that I mean I currently have no interest in dating. I’m taking the opportunity to get to know and care for myself better (and to be honest, I haven’t had the greatest luck with relationships and it’s exhausting to think about right now..maybe that will change).
What it’s like to walk in her shoes for a day…
I usually wake up around 7am and I have a morning ritual that I try really hard to follow. I drink about 12oz lemon water with a pinch of sea salt followed by a shot of wheatgrass. Then I make coffee, do a quick journal entry (gratitude, affirmations, hopes for the day), followed by a duolingo Spanish lesson. I also do a daily mindfulness journal and that has different prompts every day. After all of that it’s breakfast with my daughter and a look at my calendar to see what’s on the agenda, followed by some sort of workout (I alternate between weights, yoga, and running). Right now work is being a hair stylist, which has been my main job for 20yrs. I recently decided to go back to school and I’m going to get a degree in human services, so that will change things quite a bit.
I’m also looking for a new job/side gigs in the mean time because I’m not making enough money to comfortably live on. Anyway, most of my salon hours are in the afternoon/evening, so after I work out and get ready I get a lunch and dinner situated, make sure the kids and I are all on the same page for the day (they do online school and are home so we don’t have the typical school schedule to follow), and then I’m off to work. I usually get home somewhere around 830, and we’ll usually watch some TV or a movie together, then I’ll do my evening journal entry before bed. I love to read and I do that whenever I have the chance.
Growing up in her shoes she was…
Be happy at any cost. Happiness was regarded as the only acceptable emotion and it took me many many years to recognize, accept, and appreciate my other emotions. I was the only child for about 8yrs until my mom married my stepfather, so I lived very much within my imagination. Also, moving schools numerous times taught me how to blend in and not attract attention, so it’s not surprising that I now feel invisible/taken for granted.
Her biggest challenges day-to-day…
Feeling invisible/taken for granted. There’s still the feeling of being “only” a hair stylist, and sometimes it feels like a person is surprised when they find out that I’m actually quite intelligent, and I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a factor in my decision to go back to school. But for the most part I’m going back because I want to do more to help people, and I want to better support myself and my kids.
Things you should know if you’re going to walk in her shoes…
That I need to be heard and appreciated. I am often the sounding board, and the voice of reason for others, and I’m happy people see me as someone they can turn to. But keeping a strong front all the time is exhausting. I need moments to be comfortable feeling vulnerable as well.
Hey you, can you relate to Holly’s story? Do you have a favorite quote or thought? Share it in the comments
How about YOUR shoes?
“This is Holly’s story, it is unique, it is hers and it tells you something about being a woman in the 21st century.
If you identify as a woman, your story is just as important. CLICK HERE to get the questions and be part of our story, history and Her-story.”