Episode 18 of Life in Focus brings some great insights about relationships and marriage (or monogamous committed relationships) with our guest, the first other therapist we have interviewed – Avrum Nadigel. Avrum is the author of recently released Learning To Commit, a book on commitment and marriage – for those who want it. Avrum is a licensed marriage and family therapist, which is to say he is an expert on relationships and how to make them or break them.
During our interview he skillfully evaded all debates about whether marriage was the way to go and instead focused on the value of commitmentfor those who want it. All I can say about this interview is that Chris, who has said that he has no interest in getting hitched, committed to reading Avrum’s book and thinking about his theories; an unforeseen turn of events if you ask me. What do you think about Avrum’s theories on marriage and commitment are they right-for-you?
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What to expect:
- Even with relationships, there is a right for you. Married/committed monogamous, celibate, polyamorous, single… don’t let anyone else decide for you.
- “There is no such thing as my marriage is okay, but my relationship with my siblings is not okay.” The relationships you have with your family directly influence the ones you’ll have with your partner.
- People put too much pressure on relationships, jobs, hobbies to be fulfilling at all times, which promotes disappointment, and possibly our soaring divorce rates.
- “All I try to do in my little way was write a book that I needed because I wanted to get married, and there are other people who want to get married.”
- “Marriage is the best institution to help us grow and become more loving people […] because marriage is hard.”
Is you current relationship right-for-you? Whether you are looking at a new relationship or trying to figure out your current one here is good check list of things to look for.
Avrum Nadigel is a marriage-and-family therapist, and author of Learning to Commit: The Best Time to Work on Your Marriage is When You’re Single.
He holds a Masters of Social Work from McGill University, a Bachelors of Commerce from Concordia University, and post-graduate training in Bowen Theory from the Western Pennsylvania Family Center.
Avrum blogs about commitment for Huffington Post, and co-produces “It’s the anxiety stupid!” a podcast about relationship angst. He also draws a comic about intimacy called “Ball and Change”. Avrum has two decades of experience working in mental health, including past positions at CAMH, CMHA and Jewish Family Services. He works with singles, couples and families in his private practice.
Avrum is also a songwriter and musician. He co-composed the soundtrack for an award winning NFB documentary, and founded a music studio for at-risk youth, sponsored by Universal Music Canada. Avrum lives in Toronto with his wife and two sons.