.. there was a girl who had busted her butt to build her dream career and life. She made the sacrifices, jumped through all the required hoops, and at the ripe age of 26 landed her dream job.
She loved it! It was everything she’d hoped for. It was so good, that most days she walked into work singing. After a few years, she opened up her own business, and it thrived – this was the real dream, and she’d achieved it by age 31.
Our girl is a perfectionist, hardworking, she always tried to do and be the best. But those standards and her drive started to overwhelm her. She felt like she couldn’t keep up with
the her expectations. She started to feel stressed, anxious and resentful at work. She sang less and less, until one day singing became the exception, not the rule. She went from feeling excited to dreading going into work.
Then one day she realized that she’d fallen out of love with her dream. Worse, there were times she wanted to run out of her office and say ‘screw it all!’ She was terrified.
She’d worked so hard and achieved everything she set out to do. She’d sacrificed her 20’s to build her dream. But now the dream didn’t feel meaningful. It stifled her, left her feeling drained. The worst part was that she had no idea what else she wanted to do; she’d never considered another career.
I was 32 when I fell out of love with being a psychologist. I was 34 before I did anything about it. Years later I can confidently say that admitting to myself and others that I was unhappy, and having the courage to make a shift, was one of the best career and life moves I could have ever made.
I spent months (18 of them) trying to figure out why I was so unfulfilled despite having everything I wanted. I started making changes to my social life, my exercise routine, and hobbies. Things got a bit better, but it didn’t make a dent in my unhappiness at work.
My job is a career. I don’t do it just to pay bills, I do it because it means something to me. I refused to believe that feeling overbooked, underwhelmed and dissatisfied was adulthood was all about.
I put on my psychologist hat and asked some big questions of myself. I found answers that made sense, that felt right to me, but I realized I was still terrified to do something about it. I had a lot of expectations and fears. I didn’t want to make a mistake and end-up in the same place 10 years later. I also didn’t want to disappoint the people in my life – failure was not an option.
It took time to work through my roadblocks, but I got there. That’s when I committed and created Life in Focus. There have been ups and downs in this process. I honestly wish I’d hired a business coach early in the process – because there’s a lot about business that I didn’t know. But here I am 4+ years into this and I can honestly say…
It’s that thing that puts that huge grin on my face. Even when it’s hard, and even though it challenges and triggers all my insecurities, I love every part of it. I mean it when I say that if I won the lottery tomorrow, I’d use the money to gather a strong team of experts and grow Life in Focus.
I’ve been helping people figure out what’s right for them for over 15 years – that’s more than 500 lives I’ve had the privilege to affect. At Life in Focus I combine that expertise + every lesson I’ve learned on my own journey + my unwavering belief that average and okay is no way to live to help you figure out what right for you looks like. There’s a future in which you love Monday like you love your weekends.
This I believe with every fiber of my being: You have one life to live, and there is so much more you can do with it than just make it decent.
A clearer pathway
“Working with you gave me a clearer pathway to follow and assurance that what I was doing already was right for me. You asked questions I had never properly considered but were important to bring to light.”
It’s like having the perfect friend
I love talking with Alessandra. She keeps me on my toes and very politely calls me on my bullshit, which is something I was really lacking trying to solve this problem for myself. She’s completely professional but judgement free; it’s like having the perfect friend to bounce ideas off of.”
You don’t need more inspiration,
you need the tools to build a life you love waking up to everyday.
You don’t need more to-do lists,
you need a way to set boundaries and goals that works for you.
You don’t need more confidence,
you need a process that taps into what really fulfills you (and guards you against what drains you).
Amazing, supportive, and insightful
Alessandra has been an amazing, supportive, and insightful coach. The workbooks are fantastic, don’t get me wrong, but being able to share my work and receive her objective feedback was crucial to the uncovering of many (if not all) of my AH-HA moments.”
So here’s to you, and figuring out what you (not your parents, your best friend or that super inspirational guru) want to do with your life.
Whether you’re still feeling confused and need a break to gather your thoughts, or you are ready to figure out this thing called YOUR LIFE, I can help you confidently craft an everyday you’ll love. I’ve got your back.
1/ Coffee’s no joke
Don’t get me wrong I enjoy the effect of caffeine, but I’d rather go without than drink crappy coffee. I like mine dark, smooth, bold and scalding.
2/ I’m a recovering perfectionist
Since I was a little girl I’ve always expected the most out of myself. I’m fiercely competitive because of it, but mostly with myself. I’m working on striving for excellence, while accepting good enough. It’s hard!
3/ I grew up in France
By blood I’m 50% Italian and 50% American. Culturally, I’m French, American and Italian. I’ve lived in 5 countries and 4 states. I grew up in the suburbs of Paris and moved to the States to go to college at Duke University.
4/ I’m an INFJ
Basically that means that I’m a very decisive perfectionist with strong values who LOVES to meet and connect with others. I’m also an introvert who can easily burn out from over committing to her passions. I’m in good company, though, other INFJ’s include Oprah Winfrey, Nelson Mandela, Jamie Foxx and Jon Snow
5/ I love to sing
I never said I was any good at it, although I’m not bad either. I just really love to sing. The right song (‘Walking on Sunshine’ by Katrina and the Waves or “Sweet Child O’Mine” by Guns and Roses) can make my day.
6/ I’ve wanted to be a psychologist since I was 13
Somewhere between watching my own family struggle with life and falling in love with Pat Conroy’s The Prince of Tides I decided to become a psychologist. Once I set my mind to it, it’s the only thing I focused on.
7/ 50 books, that’s my goal this year!
Reading is one of my favorite things to do. I delight in escaping into other worlds and peeking into the minds of different characters through books. I love to learn and I thrive on the peace and quiet reading affords me.
8/ I find dentist appointments relaxing
Since having kids I look forward to going to the dentist. No one expects you to talk or solve problems for them at the dentist. It’s a guaranteed hour of peace and quiet.
9/ I’ll survive the zombie apocalypse
I’m a huge Walking Dead fan (or anything else having to do with the end of the world as we know it) I picked up parkour at age 38. It was love at first vault. When I train I like to pretend I’m outrunning zombies.
10/ Say what you mean and mean what you say
That is my guiding principle. I don’t do fake. I don’t do passive. I certainly don’t hold my tongue if I have a strong belief. The people in my life know where I stand, and they can always count on me to speak up.
I’d love to learn more about you, and see if I can help
If you have questions about coaching, send me an email.
I welcome interviews and opportunites to help with media research.
If you are an organization looking for a dynamic speaker to talk about:
please send me an email or call to discuss your needs.